Trying to Do it All

I've been holding onto this post for a while, it's a bit heavy but I suspect some mamas, and even those of you with crazy schedules, can relate. I was hoping to have some grand realization at the end but the truth is, I don't think there is a solution, its just about adjusting expectations.

So here is my truth: Some days it feels like we're just treading water over here. And I'm so tired of barely staying afloat.

The desk that my type A self used to keep spotless.

Somewhere between the monotony of working, moving, feedings, cleaning spit up off of my shirt (or not), my hair still falling out in clumps, bath time, and bedtime, I feel like I've lost my ability to get anything else done.

I'm still trying to find that balance between being a mom, a wife, employee, blogger, and a friend. If you're one of those lucky ones with family nearby to babysit, don't take it for granted. My husband and I haven't had a date night in 4 and a half months.

There are days when I feel like I've got this whole "working from home with a baby" thing. Other days I'm convinced exist solely to knock me off my high horse and bring me back to reality.

God must know those days when you feel completely inadequate, unproductive, and straight up exhausted. On one of those days in particular, Rowan let out his first (and completely adorable) belly laugh. It was glorious. And just what I needed.

I've noticed I've gotten into the habit of focusing on tomorrow, instead of soaking in every ounce of whatever craziness is going on today. So instead of focusing on what isn't crossed off my ever-growing to do list, I'm going to start focusing on what was.

Some days that may only be keeping my son happy, well fed, and safe. And that's okay. Motherhood, man... It's the hardest but most fulfilling thing you can ever do in your life. I wouldn't trade it for a thing.

15 comments

Meg ~ Chasing Pink FirefliesJune 24, 2015 at 5:41 PM
You're doing an incredible job. I can't imagine juggling working from home with a baby there too much less a move and everything else that comes with taking care of a house and a child! Cut yourself slack where you can - hire a bi-weekly or monthly cleaner, make simpler meals or get more takeout/pre-made grocery meals, find a babysitter so you can have the occasional date night. I spent so much time with babies 1&2 just trying to survive each day that I lost many little moments. It's only now with #3 (and our last) that I'm truly trying to soak up every second with her and live in the moment because I know how fleeting it all is! And remind yourself daily that you're doing the best you can and your best is just right!
EvelinaJune 24, 2015 at 5:52 PM
This is definitely a very busy time for you! Hang in there.
brittany @ g squaredJune 24, 2015 at 6:11 PM
Took the words right out of my mouth! I have been working from home, baby raising, traveling husband, trying to blog- and yikes. At the end of some days I feel like all I did was survive. Keep at it, I know all of it will pay off!
Ashley Carole (Sweet Carolina Belle)June 25, 2015 at 3:26 AM
Hang in there girl. Just soak it up as much as possible these days with your little one will fly by before you know it.
JulieJune 25, 2015 at 6:08 AM
I just found your blog and can totally relate. Some days I can't even keep my eyes open because I am so tired from the day before. Balancing it all is not easy but worth it spending time with little one at the end of the day! (Ditto on needing to find a babysitter as well)
Mary LeighJune 25, 2015 at 6:12 AM
Hang in there! It is so easy to start thinking about tomorrow or to look at the piles or the lists and become overwhelmed. It's hard to stop and be present sometimes. What a precious little gift of a good hearty belly laugh from the babe to snap things into perspective!
Jillian ManeshJune 25, 2015 at 7:44 AM
oh i totally feel ya! it's especially hard when you have a new home that you want to decorate. i usually have a list of a few things to do and i have to pick just one or two because the rest just arent going to happen... and that's ok our babies are only this little once so it's nice to spend time with them and soak it in. xo jillian - cornflake dreams
Caroline {Virginia Sweet}June 25, 2015 at 8:26 AM
I am so glad you posted this...So many people make this motherhood thing look easy, but how is that even one bit true? The things worth working for are never easy and you never get right on the first try. You are doing amazing and I am proud of you my friend! I am sure when Lucie gets here, we will be in total survival mode and asking for a life raft quite a bit!
Jessi @ Jessi's DesignJune 25, 2015 at 11:20 AM
Let me just start by saying that you are doing fabulous and just what you need to be doing! There is NO possible way to do it all and we all know that now that our sweet precious babes came. Those smiles, full bellies and laughs show us that we are nailing this Mama thing (one step at a time and one burp cloth at a time!) Sending prayers your way for some down time and you better believe if I lived closer Andi could meet her boyfriend and yall could have a date night on me!! :) :)
SusannahJune 25, 2015 at 5:01 PM
Just know you're not alone. There are so many of us in the same boat and (I've heard) it gets easier. I'm still waiting for that to happen. ;-)
Lo {Travel the Unbeaten Path}June 25, 2015 at 9:49 PM
Oh girl you are doing an amazing job, trust me. I've said this before, but you're a superstar for working from home with no extra help. You're so right, being far away from family at times like this SUCKS. Hang in there, we'll all get tigers and laugh about this time in our lives in the future (over wine and tequila and whatever else we want)!
Lo {Travel the Unbeaten Path}June 25, 2015 at 9:50 PM
Haha *get together
roxJune 26, 2015 at 9:51 AM
AMEN. I cannot agree more. My husband and I talk about this all the time. We used to have it so good...but with Conner, it's a different kind of "so good." While we used to come home and relax and watch whatever we DVR'd and read blogs and just CHILL, now we go non-stop once we get in from work. I have calluses on my right-hand-fingers from making / washing bottles. We barely get to watch one show we've DVR'd each week - much less two. Our DVR is getting quite full, and it's making me antsy. I barely get to read blogs anymore. I'm reading and commenting now because I'm on my work break. But do you know what? Conner thinks I'm the best Mommy, regardless. And I know the same goes for Rowan. Time is fleeting, that's for sure. I'd rather be doing all of this busy stuff now and have Conner, than have things the way they were. Yes, he's 15 weeks old and we have YET to have a date night (UGH!!!), but, we will. One day!! ;) Hang in there, and know that there are SO many of us in the same boat with you.
Jessi @ Jessi's DesignJune 30, 2015 at 10:30 AM
Checking back in again just to say we're thinking about you!!! xoxo
NatJuly 13, 2015 at 5:51 AM
I read this when you first wrote it and meant to comment but just realized I never did. Hang in there! Being a mom is hard, really hard. It's hard to always put someone else first and you just never feel like you're giving anything your 100% attention or focus. The hardest part is realizing that sometimes you just have to let things go. Rowan will never know if your house is dirty or you're wearing the same yoga pants for the 3rd day in a row. They're only little once and (so I've heard) one day we will miss this chaos.